The Weight of the Issue

Lately, with the a few recent articles being released and with a new size being added to the “Plus Size” category (truly….this is just absolutely ludicrous) in the fashion world, there has been a mighty outburst crying warfare on weight and what it all means when trying to define beauty. So I thought it would be a great time to just rip the bandaid off and talk about it. And I mean it: let’s talk. See that little “comment cloud” in the upper right hand corner of this post? Go ahead, don’t be scared. Click it. Leave a comment, start a conversation, pipe in with your two cents. I’d love to hear you!

I’m fortunate in my line of work. I get to meet alllllllll kinds of lovely ladies from all walks of life, all fulfilling different roles, all searching for and living their dreams, all leaving an imprint of their energy and self on me. I love it. For me, when it all comes down to it, size really doesn’t have a role in what I do. Regardless of your size, if you can’t feel sexy, if you can’t conjure that vulnerable, sensual side of yourself when you walk into my studio, it makes no difference if you are a size 2 or a 22.

But let’s talk about the bigger issue here: does your size specify your state of health? I would think most of you will answer no. I know some size 0 gals that are truly unhealthy. Underweight, malnourished and salivating while watching a bird swoop down to swipe up a little crumb of someone’s left over breakfast on the ground. Just sad. But with Super (and I use that term very lightly) Models making quotes like “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” (God bless her poor daughter) it’s no wonder in the world of woman empowerment, where, even though we still have to fight a bit more for what we want, women who can truly have it all still list losing weight as one of their top priorities. And c’mon…for a lot of us it’s numero uno. On the other hand, this overwhelming movement for the acceptance of “Big is Beautiful” is just as disturbing. An obese, or truly overweight, person is no healthier than the 5’10” size 0. Don’t kid yourself.

I get it though. It’s not easy being a woman. I struggle daily with what I’m supposed to be in this world. I don’t want to feel like I need to prove I have a feminine side when I change a flat tire on my car. I don’t want to feel like I have to prove my commitment to feminism when I want to wear lipstick and bake a pie. And I don’t want to have to apologize for being a feminist. I joke with my husband that I feel like I have to cook, keep house, do laundry, make money, raise a powerhouse for a daughter, fulfill myself, fulfill him and all while making the world a better place and, wait….I’m supposed to do all of this while looking like Angelina Jolie?? (and to be frankly honest here, John cleans the house, does most of the cooking, all the laundry, keeps us rock solid with his continuous brilliance on how to keep our business successful and make no mistake, he rocks an awesome tutu when playing with our daughter while teaching her to rock this world all on her own.)

But truly truly truly, the age-old, snicker-inspiring quote rings true: size doesn’t matter. It’s your health and feelings about yourself that matter. If you can get both of those on the same page in a positive way, you’re simply unstoppable.

Ok ladies, don’t hold back. Let’s talk.

8 thoughts on “The Weight of the Issue

  1. Beautifully said Elizabeth. I am in no way a size 0, but I am lucky enough to have a husband that loves me even when my weight fluctuates. More importantly I have to be happy with who I am and what size I am, and luckily I am healthy. No one else can make you happy if you are unhappy with yourself. Everyone is beautiful to someone.

  2. This is a wonderful statement all around Elizabeth. I am 5’10” and a size 6 which according to doctors and that dreaded BMI chart, I am almost underweight. But to be quite honest I STILL struggle with my weight. It’s such a distorted scale… Comparing what is “healthy” and what is “stereotypical beauty”. I think it’s great how you can show women of any size that they are all equally beautiful. I wish magazines would do the same!

  3. I loved reading this. It made me feel at home. I know how many people actually struggle with their weight in their own head, but this whole media outlet bragging about “Super” models doesn’t help a thing! Someone once mentioned to me how Marilyn Monroe was considered one of the most beautiful people in her days, and she had some Gorgeous curves! That is beauty!! Now, being a stick thin Victoria’s Secret model is considered the way to be!
    Really, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?? Well Kate Moss has obviously never had my mom’s scruptious browine delight dessert!!
    I just believe that if you are comfortable in your own skin, that is what is beautiful. I’m so happy to look at your intimates photos and see this kind of woman. Celebrate that! 🙂

  4. Okay, here is a guy’s perspective. I fell in love with my wife as a “whole person”. I would say that her size and shape simply, for lack of a better explanation, peaked my interest in her. Once we began to look deeper into each other as couples do when they are falling in love, I really did not think about outward appearances anymore. To simplify this statement I’m gonna use my “triple chocolate fudge cake with dark chocolate icing” analogy:

    ” It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen through the glass at the bakery. I destroyed it’s good looks while devouring it with a tall glass of fat laden whole milk. Even the embarrasing crumbs in my beard and the smudges of icing at the corners of my mouth were awesome and when it was done……I craved another piece!! ”

    If I had not tasted that scrumptious delicacy and savoured the taste I would have soon forgotten how GOOD IT LOOKED. It’s not the beginning of an experience that matters the most. It’s the whole experience that matters.

    My wife notices and comments about her weight gains and looks. I just see the most important woman in my life and savour the entire package.
    All women should be happy and comfortable with themselves FIRST. It’s not thier responsibility to try to be someone they are not just to please thier partner. Frankly, they are not much of a man and certainly not a partner if they cannot accept this. Be yourselves ladies…..someone loves you for that reason alone!!

  5. I think I have a unique perspective on this one- being that over the last year I went from a size 18/20 to a size 4. I can say for me, that regaining a healthier life was priority number one, I’m not going to lie- being “skinny” for the first time since I was 12 years old is fabulous, but fat or thin, I still struggle with the same demons in my head. It is crazy how different many people treat you when you weigh less- I found it offensive when comments were made about my weight when I was 200lbs, I find it equally disturbing when people find it necessary to comment on “how tiny you are”. I know when these types of comments have been made by my friends and family, they come from a place of love and aknowledgment of my hard work and sacrafice. When they come from others in my life, I simply want to say- “why do you feel compelled to talk about my weight, good or bad?, it is not who I am and should really not even be a topic appropriate for public discussion”. But, this is why these people aren’t classified as “friends”. It has taken me some time recently to discover that my self confidence (or lack there of) has been controlled for so long by my physical appearance, but unfortunately, the same doubts exist now as did then. I guess what I’m trying to say is, weight only matters to each of us, as an individual, as we allow it to. Hold fast to those who love you and kick the rest to the curb!!!

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